Unknown duration

 I’ve been locked back up for just over 2 weeks now and haven’t had an orgasm in about 3 weeks, I have no clue how long this stretch will be. 

 Mistress likes to use the element of surprise in her favour and rarely tells me exactly what’s going through her mind. She’s been doing this almost the entire time we’ve been playing with chastity and denial and I just can’t get use to it no matter how hard I try.  My way of dealing with it was to always plan for the worst, that was easy back in the day when my longest stretch of chastity and denial was only 30-40 days. But now that I’ve cleared 100 days I find it harder to plan for the worst. I tend to go on what I call “fishing trips” and get what ever little information I can out of Mistress, but sometimes I can’t even get a bite! 

 We had a talk the other night about clarity of duration and I explained to Mistress that I like having a rough idea of how long she’s thinking but I don’t want an exact time frame. If I had an exact time frame it would seem too scheduled and Mistress might feel obligated to stick to that date even if she had a change of mind.  I went on to say even if I had a minimum time frame it would probably help me handle the situation better. Her example to that was “ so I could tell you that you are going to be locked up for at least 20 days even if I was actually thinking more like 6 months, and that would still help you?” All I could really say to that was “ well it would help me get through the first 20 days I guess”. Than she went on to talk about how she thinks I enjoy being pushed and setting new records more than I actually like orgasms. I had to agree with her, I like working towards a goal and essentially the orgasm is just my reward for reaching my goal. 

 So now here I am wondering if her example was just hypothetical or if it was intended to be a hint of what’s ahead of me.  Usually she gives me a decent break between challenges or setting records before we move onto the next challenge. But I guess I was the one that cut this break short. If it’s going to turn into challenge after challenge my amount of orgasms are going to drastically drop and my time in chastity will almost be full time.  As always I just have to wait and see or learn how to bait my hook better on my next fishing trip! 

Locked up again.

 After having two weeks of freedom I’m safely locked back in my cage again. I think I started to miss my cage after only 1 week of freedom and after having an accident with minimal direct contact to Mistresses property I convinced her it might be better off to have me locked back up again. 

 Mistress had no intentions of locking me back up this soon, she was going to leave me free until after the holiday season. The day after my accident I suggested locking back up but Mistress thought that would be going easy on me and that we should be using this freedom time to work on my control. We got into a lengthy conversation a few nights ago ( after several adult beverages) and that’s when Mistress changed her mind on my freedom status. Due to the amount of beverages I can’t really remember the exact things said that made her change her mind but I do remember talking about my hair trigger and how much work it would actually take to get my control back to where it use to be.  

 My buffer zone is gone but I only need to give Mistress one more orgasm before I am eligible for another of my own. I was hoping to save that one for later in the month and if I worked hard enough I might be able to earn another one before the year is over. Just because I earn or am eligible for those orgasms doesn’t mean that Mistress has to grant them, for all I know I’ve already had my last orgasm of the year.  No actual time frame or duration was discussed about this lock up so I just need to settle in for the long haul and plan for the worst.  

120 days

 My new record has officially been set at 120 days without an orgasm. Mistress finally let me cum the other night and it felt great, it wasn’t amazing or over the moon by any means.  I really can’t handle too much attention below the waist anymore before I’m at the edge, there was several times when I had to ask Mistress to please stop or remove her hand. When she finally did give me permission to cum it felt like she was barely even holding her property, I wasn’t watching but it felt like she was only using her thumb and 2 fingers to lightly stroke me. I held off as long as I could and it felt like I let off a few good shots, 120 days of waiting was over in a matter of minutes ( not counting for play). 

 I’m not sure what my future holds, I’m still eligible for 1 more orgasm and only a few good play sessions away from earning another if Mistress allows.  I’ve only been free for a few days but I do think I’m missing my cage.  I’m not sure if Mistress is missing/wanting actual intercourse and that will most likely be the factor of when I get locked back up.  The way things are looking I’ll be lucky to get 3 more orgasms this year, bringing my total up to 12. But just because I earn them doesn’t mean Mistress has to grant them, as always I just have to wait and see what she has planned. 

Freedom!

 After 118 days I have been set free from my cage. Yesterday was shower night and to my surprise Mistress wanted me to have a proper cleaning. I was just let out last week for a proper cleaning and lately she has been pushing me closer to every 2 weeks for a proper cleaning. So when she said that I was starting to wonder if me sentence was over but I didn’t ask and she didn’t say anything until bedtime. 

 We were later than usual getting to bed last night for a week day and I was fully prepared to go back into my cage when Mistress informed me that I served my time, I brushed my teeth and crawled into bed next to her. As I snuggled up to her she quickly said “ just because you’re free doesn’t mean you get to cum, it’s rather late so we should be getting to sleep”. My initial thought was why don’t I just go back in my cage but I didn’t say that. Every night I have to tell Mistress something I love about her or something I appreciate about her, last night I told her I appreciated that she is such a great mind fuck. 

 It wasn’t even a week ago when she told me that my denial may be over before I’m let free from the cage and reminded me that she can keep me locked and still make me cum in my cage, and now I’m let free but still not allowed to cum. I pointed that out to her and she had a little laugh and said “ I wish I would of actually planned that out”. 

 Mistress was out of bed before me this morning and already hard at work so I figured there was no chance of play but it didn’t hurt to try. I sent her a picture of her property being wide awake and she replied with “ don’t even think about touching that” I asked if she wanted to touch it or if I should just walk it off, walk it off was her answer. Once again my first thought was why don’t I just go back in my cage than and I started to wonder if she is trying to get me to ask/beg to be locked up again before I get a chance to cum? 

 I really didn’t expect to be out this early, I truly thought she was going to push me the full 30 days she said would be my maximum. Now that I’m free I really don’t know where my mind is at, my desire to cum has been higher the last week but it isn’t unbearable. As always I’ll just have to wait it out and see what Mistress has planned for me. 

Full time and or permanent denial

 I shouldn’t really need to talk about opinions and definitions this time, full time and or permanent orgasm denial is fairly straightforward, no more orgasms ever. The main topic will be if it’s actually possible or not. 

 I use to think it wasn’t possible, eventually an accident is bound to happen unless you are also partaking in full time denial of all forms of attention, even than your body knows when its time to empty and a wet dream should occur.  Is a wet dream actually an orgasm or just a release of fluid? I’ve had several in my life and most of them have been as an adult after starting chastity and denial. Some dreams are really vivid and I remember exactly what happened leading up to and including the release and wake up almost instantly to the wet spot, others I don’t remember and sleep until my alarm goes off and I’m surprised to be laying in a half dried wet spot. I don’t know if I actually feel like I had an orgasm when I wake up from a vivid dream but I know my frustration disappears but it doesn’t take much teasing to refresh that frustration, the same applies to the non vivid dreams. Without being able to wake up right at the point of the orgasm in your dream you’ll never know if you actually experience the feelings/contractions of an orgasm. Maybe studies have been done trying to prove that but I haven’t really researched it that much to know so my opinion is a wet dream isn’t an orgasm. 

 My second point is if permanent orgasm denial is even possible without 100% desirability? With short term or long term denial it’s like the carrot and the stick, the carrot is your reward (orgasm) and the stick is what you endure to get the reward (tease, denial and frustration). So if you know you will never get that carrot is it still desirable? If both partners don’t have the same mind set with 100% desirability eventually the partner that is being denied will give up hope and find away to achieve orgasm.  No matter how good or expensive the chastity device is it can’t prevent an orgasm if someone is determined enough. But can your mind be conditioned to accept it, will eventually the carrot turn from getting an orgasm to just being content with the tease and attention? That’s what I’ve found myself wondering lately. 

I don’t think I’ve ever desired permanent orgasm denial, I may have fantasized about it but since I didn’t think it was possible I didn’t desire it or give it a lot of thought. I never really gave it thought until Mistress gave me her definition of full time chastity and that’s when I started wondering if it could be a possibility for me.  I still don’t think I actually desire permanent orgasm denial but I know if I want full time chastity I’ll most likely have to take permanent orgasm denial with it.  I’ve really tried to open up to the concept just in case and one of the questions I asked myself was if I knew I would never get another orgasm, would I want to know that prior to my last orgasm? If you didn’t know you had your last orgasm ever you could still look forward to the possibility of another, on the other hand would it be easier to handle if you knew you already had your last orgasm? Than I started asking myself what exactly is my carrot? I don’t know if I really found answers to my questions so as stated in my last post I’m just going to play this out and see what Mistress has in store for me, for all I know maybe I have already had my last orgasm ever. 

Full time and or permanent chastity.

 Every one has there own definition or opinions on permanent chastity and I’ve seen arguments started online due to opinion differences for that reason I try to refer to it as full time chastity. Most people will say that permanent chastity means that the cage is locked on and never or can’t be removed essentially locked up and throw away the key. Some people will argue that permanent chastity doesn’t even require a device and its more about refraining from sexual activity, I would refer to that as permanent denial. Like I said everyone has there own opinions which creates different definitions. 

 My definition of full time or permanent chastity is constantly locked up and only removed for hygiene purposes, medical reasons/emergencies and for air travel or when a metal detector may reveal a device. Essentially if you are only let out for those reasons and go back into the device ASAP you are living full time chastity which could go on forever or permanently.  I use to put chastity and denial hand in hand but over time I managed to separate the 2. I can be in chastity and still have an orgasm or I can be on denial and not have to be locked up, for that reason orgasm denial has nothing to do with my definition of full time/ permanent chastity. 

 Full time/ permanent orgasm denial falls into a totally different category and I’m not even sure where I stand with that any more so I will have to save that topic for a different post. 

 After completing the 100 day challenge I was trying to figure out what my next goal was or where I wanted to go with chastity. By than I had learned it was possible to cum without being unlocked and I started to realize that how my orgasm was achieved didn’t really change the end result of the orgasm.  In other words it didn’t matter if I had sex or got teased to an orgasm in my cage, the end result felt the same.  

 Over years of chastity and denial I seem to have lost my stamina and can’t really get it back no matter how much we practice so sex had become rather quick and Mistress wasn’t always making it to the finish line.  I really do enjoy the feeling of being inside Mistress but was it worth it if I only lasted a few minutes and risked leaving her unsatisfied?  So that’s when I proposed the idea of a trial run at full time chastity, if i wasn’t allowed out of my cage for play time I couldn’t disappoint Mistress. She didn’t like this idea one bit, she took it as an insult and thought it was because I didn’t want to or didn’t like having sex with her anymore. I tried explaining to her that it had nothing to do with her and that it was mostly due to my stamina issues but she didn’t understand it.  Eventually she said she would do it and to just tell her for how long, I could tell she was saying that just for me so I said just forget I even asked about it. 

 I knew it was wrong of me to propose that idea since it was a form of topping from the bottom and wrong of me to try and take something away from Mistress but in my mind it was a better option for us. If we couldn’t have actual sex I couldn’t leave Mistress short of the finish line, we have a strap on for me to wear (I call it my replacement) so it’s not like I was trying to totally deny her sex, we have toys for her and I’ve gotten pretty good with my tongue over the years so she still had lots of options for her orgasms.  That’s when I learned it wasn’t just about sex, she still enjoyed giving me pleasure or just playing with her properly even if she has no intentions of giving me an orgasm and apparently my replacement just doesn’t feel the same. 

 I tried my best to get the idea of full time chastity out of my head and to not bring it up again. No matter how hard I tried the idea alway seemed to come back to my mind but at least I was doing good about not mentioning it. About half a year ago after way too many drinks I approached the subject again, I found out  that Mistresses mind set hadn’t changed but she was still willing to try it if I really wanted, once again she told me to set a time frame but at least she sounded a touch more open to the idea. Since I could tell she still didn’t like the idea I just left it alone without really saying anything. One thing I learned that night was Mistresses definition was similar to mine but also included full time orgasm denial, she wasn’t even sure if she would consider milking me from time to time.  That’s probably why I left the subject alone and decided to pursue the chastity challenge approach instead. 

 I managed the clear my mind of the subject for a few months until the chastity challenge started and now it’s back on my mind. This time I’m taking full time chastity and denial into consideration. I’m pretty sure I can handle being in my cage full time but how does one know or even begin to prep yourself for full time denial? Is it something you can jump right into if you can go 100+ days with out an orgasm or do I need to slowly wean myself off orgasms first. To date this year I’ve only had 8 orgasms, 5 wet dreams and 6 orgasm free months (non consecutive). Now that I know Mistress’s mind set towards denial has changed  I think there is a better possibility of getting full time chastity, I just don’t know if it will be my definition or hers. I don’t know if it’s something I should bring up again or just leave it alone and see where she wants to go with it.  For the time being I’m just going to ride out the rest of this sentence and possibly the rest of the year and see what the new year brings. 

Re-joining the 100 day club

 I pretty much have you caught up to current time now, I completed Locktober and broke my old record of  105 day locked and denied. As of today it has been 109 days since my last orgasm and I’m not 100% sure of how much longer I have to wait. 

 I knew Mistress wouldn’t let me out the day I set a new record, she always gives me that extra push to show that she decides when. On top of that her monthly visitor arrived the following day, kind of ironic since that’s what pushed me into overtime on the 100 day challenge.  After a few too many drinks a few nights ago I managed to get Mistress to reveal some details and she doesn’t plan on pushing me past 30 more days depending on my behaviour.  I was a bit shocked by that but I should of seen it coming after a previous conversation about a week ago. 

 Mistress does enjoy having me locked up and controlling my orgasms or keeping me denied but she also enjoys bringing me pleasure and most importantly being able to have access to “her property “ when she wants it. The 100 day challenge was tough on her and she did not like not being able to play with her property or have sex when she wanted to. That’s why chastity and denial was so off and on in our past and I had to request stuff like the 100 day challenge or male chastity day, but recently that has changed apparently. She confessed to me that she has been handling my denial better lately and isn’t as concerned about my pleasures or having sex.  I was caught off guard by that and it seemed like a night and day change to me but after looking back on the year and writing these posts I can see how I didn’t notice these changes. These changes probably stemmed from something I requested over a year ago but I’ll get to that in my next post. 

  Recently most of our play sessions have been focused on Mistress and I rarely receive attention, she still holds and touches me just not as often or as much in sexual manner. It’s almost like our 10% rule also determines how often I get teased, I don’t know if that is planned by Mistress or just a coincidence.  I’m not complaining about the lack of attention towards me since I still get aroused by bringing Mistress pleasure, I enjoy feeling and listening to how turned on she gets and it’s not like she is just laying there like a star fish. By not receiving as much attention or teases I haven’t had as many accidents (cuming without permission) besides wet dreams and it also keeps me away from my “breaking point” when I want to end chastity and denial.  I once read that chastity doesn’t actually start or get real until you want it to end so maybe it’s not a good thing that I’m not finding my breaking point as much.  I’ve often felt that I could probably handle more than what Mistress is willing to dish out but I might finally be finding out that isn’t the case.  Carful what you wish for, don’t bite off more than you can chew and don’t count your chickens before the eggs hatch pretty much sums up my future right now! 

Locktober

 I can’t remember when I first learned about Locktober but it had me intrigued right from the start. Essentially it is no different than male chastity day (month), it’s just another month full of chastity and denial but with a fancy name! 

 I think I might have introduced Mistress to the concept of it last year but for one reason or another she did not want to take part in it. She likes being the one in control and deciding my lock up not just going by a fad that other people are doing.  

 This year I had all ready had about half of Locktober completed due to the chastity challenge so I thought why not try to complete it, and if I completed Locktober I would only need about another week of chastity and denial to set a new personal record. I dropped hints to Mistress about this time line but since I didn’t straight out tell her my desire to go that length she didn’t think I was serious and unlocked me after my 2 weeks were served. 

 We were laying in bed that night and started playing around, it didn’t take much teasing from Mistress to get me to the edge and that’s when I asked her to please stop.  She took that as me just needing a little breather, she gave me a few minutes and than began to tease me again, I got to the edge and asked/ begged her to please stop again.  Once again she thought I just needed a break so she ordered me to go down on her until I calmed down. I got her off a few times and she pulled me up from between her legs and once again started teasing me, I got to the edge and this time I begged her to please lock me back up. 

 Mistress got out of bed and started walking to the bathroom and asked me why and for how long, she said “ so are you thinking days, weeks, months or years”? I was tempted to say years but that is a totally different story I’ll get to another day. I simply replied with “ I’d like to finish Locktober and set a new record “ ,  when she came back she more less looked at me and said “ well that wasn’t so hard just to ask for now was it” !

 

Chastity Challenge

 A while back I stumbled onto a tumblr website called the chastity challenge ( sorry I’m not tech savvy and can’t put the actual link up), essentially it is a game of random chance that determines the length of your time in chastity. You press a “random “ button and a caption pops up saying the length of your sentence or telling you how many more times to press the button. I played around with it a bit so I had a pretty good idea of what lengths of time could come up. 

 Eventually I ran the idea past Mistress and showed her the website and let her play around with it. She found it interesting and was willing to give it a try but not until after our anniversary.  

 So continuing from my last post it was while we were out for our night cap that Mistress instructed me to pull up the website. She told me she would only be pressing the random button once and what ever it said we were going to do, she went on to remind me that it was my idea and there should be no whining or complaining on my end. I agreed to her terms with a “yes Ma’am “ and she pressed the button, 10 weeks was the number that showed up. 10 weeks didn’t seem too bad to me since my record was 15 weeks, it wasn’t a walk in the park by any means but I had gone longer. Plus I needed to dig myself out of the hole to get back on track with the 10% rule, I had just had my 8th orgasm of the year and Mistress was only at 72   . Just in case you are wondering I keep spreadsheet of our numbers and how they were achieved. 

 The first month was almost a complete dry spell, I had only managed to get Mistress off once and she was constantly shooting down my advances and attempts at play time. The summer is a busy time for us and having a toddler doesn’t help the matters.  September was a better month and I had finally got our numbers back on track.  October 1st rolled around and I was scheduled to be set free, I found it rather ironic that my release date was randomly set for the start of Locktober.  Mistress asked me how the last 10 weeks were for me and I said “ oh not too bad”, apparently she thought I wasn’t too phased by 10 weeks of chastity and denial and ordered me to get my iPad. 

 I knew exactly what she wanted me to do with my iPad so I pulled up the website and she ordered me to press random once, “ press random 15 more times” is what popped up. Mistresses mouth kind of dropped and than she broke in to laughter and wished me luck as she got a pen and paper. The numbers started off fairly low with barely double digit days and than a couple weeks popped up, I got lucky a few times with no penalty this time, than a month, next thing you know I was over 100 days with 2 random presses left. 6 weeks was my second last press, I was starting to get a bit worried about a 142 days on top of the 10 weeks I just served.  My last press of the random button was “  divide your sentence by 10”, I got lucky there and dodged a big bullet! 

 I’m not gonna lie I was a bit disappointed that my sentence was reduced by that much but happier than a pig in poop that I didn’t have to go another 142 day on top of the 70 I just served.  My mind was drifting towards setting a new record before I even completed my original 10 week sentence, that’s probably why I didn’t seem phased when Mistress asked me how it was. I had no idea of what she had in mind for me when she asked how it was for me so it’s not like I played it down by any means.  I had 2 more weeks to serve and I was already trying to figure out how to extent it by another 3 weeks and 1 day to set a new record! 

 

2020 recap

 Sorry for my disappearance but after completing the 100 day challenge our adventure got put on the back burner.  Life got busy and I kind of forgot about this blog. 

 Chastity and denial have been a major part of this year for me. Mistress decided at the start of the year that I will only receive and average of 10% of the orgasms she has, so I needed to give her 10 orgasms before I could even ask to cum. I figured it would be best if we took part in male chastity day , funny how they say day but it’s actually a month. For you that don’t know about male chastity day, it’s when the man is locked up on January 14 and keep lock and denied until Valentine’s Day to help build romance. There was miscommunication between Mistress and I and she was treating it as denial and didn’t actually lock me up until the start of February. I remained locked up until mid April with the exception of 1 free night in March.

My release on Valentine’s Day never happened because we were up late playing the night before and never really ended up celebrating Valentine’s Day in a special way. At that point I had given Mistress enough orgasms to receive one of my own but for some reason Mistress decided not to grant me one until March 1st.  I wasn’t unlocked for that orgasm, Mistress just climbed on top and was grinding/dry humping me and tortured my nipples until I came in my underwear. So that was my first orgasm after over 2 months of denial.  

 From my 2 months off I had been able to give Mistress enough orgasms where I was eligible for 3 of my own so I used those up in March  and continued to keep close to my 10% range.  April wasn’t the best month for play time and I wasn’t eligible for an orgasm until the last half of the month, hence being unlocked mid April. I was free the remainder of the month and used my only eligible orgasm. 

 Mistress gave me a few weeks break from chastity and locked me back up a few days into May. The first half of the month was slow for play time and I had yet to earn my next release. It wasn’t until the last week of May when I finally reached the 10% but requested to stayed locked and denied for the rest of the month to build a buffer zone. 

 June 1st I was unlocked and was eligible for an orgasm but I did such a good job pleasuring Mistress that she was too tired to return the favour and just wanted to go to sleep that night, so she left me free as a reward.  Life got busy and we didn’t find time to play for a few weeks and that’s when i finally got my only orgasm for the month. We played a few times later in the month but that went towards my buffer zone. 

 So if you are not keeping track I was going into July and only had 5 orgasms so far, Mistress on the other hand has had 62 by now. I was free from my cage for a full month and asked Mistress how long that was going to keep up, she replied with “ until our anniversary is over”. The first day of July I used my 1 eligible orgasm but managed to get Mistress off a few times first so I was closing the gap on our 10% rule.    Our anniversary was in a few weeks so I had to make sure I had 1 orgasm available for that day , the next few play times were all about Mistress and filled the quota to be able to cum on our anniversary. A few days before our anniversary a tease went too far and I came without permission, Mistress was mad but said we will still be having sex on our anniversary and I will just have to work my way out of the hole to get back to our 10%. Just like Valentines Day we were to tired to play on our anniversary and had to take a rain check on the sex a few nights later, that was July 22 and that was also the last time I had an orgasm. After play time we went out for a night cap and a conversation and it was after midnight so technically July 23 when my cage went back on.